Episode 96: Feeling Gaslit in Menopause? Listen to this.

"Just eat less and move more." If you're like the vast majority of menopausal women out there, you probably feel like you're screaming into the abyss and not being heard. "I FREAKING AM!!!" I promise, you're not crazy (and you're not alone). Here's what you need to know to understand what's  actually happening in your menopausal body. 

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Transcript

 | Gaslist Podcast Final Tue, Jul 22, 2025 4:23PM 9:12 SUMMARY KEYWORDS menopause, gaslighting, medical education, perimenopause, postmenopause, body composition, weight gain, exercise, metabolism, strategy session, emotional topic, hope, biology, fad diet, Ignite program SPEAKERS Speaker 1 
 | S Speaker 1 00:00 Welcome back to the becoming mind strong podcast. Let me tell you, when you've been in this industry for almost a decade and helped over 3000 women, there are legit themes that come up time and time again. And perhaps the biggest theme that I see in working with Perry and postmenopausal women is this feeling of being gaslit, right? We go to our doctor, we're like, I don't know where these 10 pounds came from. They I'm doing everything right? Nothing's working. And what does the doctor say? Just eat less, move more, right? So you tell them, I freaking AM, and they give you that look of either they don't believe you, or they're like, well, eat even less and move even more, and it feels like we're screaming into the abyss. It feels like nobody is hearing us or believing us, that we're doing all the right things. So today we're going to talk about number one, why that happens, why we're feeling so gaslit when it comes to our health at this stage in life, and most importantly, what to do about it. Check it out. Now, before I dive in, I want to make something very clear, I do not believe that doctors are evil. I do not believe that doctors are intentionally trying to gaslight, gaslight women. What I do know to be true is that in the medical training as of the time that I'm recording this that most doctors receive, there is shockingly little education around menopause and and many of us in this industry are working to change that, some from the inside out, some from the outside in. So I say all that to say I do not believe that most doctors out there are like, Oh, let me, let me be a jerk to this patient and make them feel like they're crazy. What I do believe to be true is that they simply don't know any better, right? Menopause research is shockingly new, shockingly new. And I'll avoid going down the rabbit hole of of a man's world. And if men went through menopause, that would not be the case. We can just infer that that that's where that stems from. But for the purposes of this conversation, what we need to understand is that this research, not only is it incredibly mind blowingly new, but it's not being studied in depth in med school. So as many of us have experienced, right? We don't know any better either. We've spent our whole lives with these rules of eat less, move more, and it's worked to various degrees for all of us. And then, bam, menopause comes. It smacks us in the face, whether you're in perimenopause or post menopause, and as a reminder, perimenopause can start as young as 3435 right? Menopause itself is one day, the day you've gone 12 months without a cycle. After that, you are post menopausal for the rest of your life. So when you hear me say Perry and post, those are the terms I'm referring to. So here comes perimenopause. Bam. 

Smacks us in the face. All of a sudden, our body's changing, right? Our body composition is changing. Not only are we gaining weight, but it feels like we're getting flabbier. We're holding weight in places we never had before. So and we're doing all the things we're supposed to do, right, all of all of the things that we have been taught, and our brain has proof that this is what you do to lose weight, but they're not working. And then, as we talked about in the intro, we go to our doctor, we say, Hey, I don't know where these 1015, 50 pounds came from. I haven't changed a thing. And the doctor, using the knowledge that they have, just like it's the knowledge that we've always had, says, Well, you need to eat less and move more. So we go home, we amp up our exercise, we drop our calories to 1200 calories. We go back in six months, we get retested, and they say, No, you're still gaining weight. Eat less and move more. So then we go back and we drop to 900 right? And this cycle goes on and on and on. And the truth is, the reality is that is digging the hole deeper. That's taking a six inch hole, and every time we continue to eat less, move more, we are digging that six inch hole, six miles long, and it's frustrating and it's aggravating. You know, as of the time I'm recording this, in mind, strong fitness, we will not bring a single woman into our program without doing what we call a strategy session. And on these strategy sessions, we do a deep dive. We talk about where you are, where you want to be, what you're doing, what's worked, what hasn't worked, what your goals look like. Because we want to make sure, beyond a shadow of a doubt that we can help you right? What we teach is biology, and it works for everyone, and we have to make sure you're in a place to do the work, because we're going to master a skill. But I say that because these sessions, they're deep dive, they're they're typically minimum 45 minutes long. And back in the day when mindstrong was a one woman show, I held every one of those strategy sessions right now. Now that's not feasible, because I spend my time showing up for our members, but in the 1000s of those that I held, the vast majority included tears. And every time someone start crying, they be like, I don't know why I'm so why I'm crying about this. I don't know why I'm so emotional, and I do, because this is an emotional topic, right? This is a subject where we are screaming into the abyss and no one's hearing us. We're saying, I'm doing everything right, and nothing's working and no one is hearing us. It's things that sometimes our spouses don't want to hear about or they can't relate to. It's things that we're shouting to our doctors metaphor like I am doing everything right and we're not being heard. And. Beauty. One of my favorite parts of this work that we get to do in this world, at my strong is we get to give women hope. I talk about the word hope a lot because when you get to say to someone, hey, you're not crazy. Hey, you know your body better than anyone else, and if you know that you're not doing anything wrong and it's not working. Guess what? You're not doing anything wrong, and it's not working like that is a capital T truth of your life, and I believe you. And not only do I believe you, I'm going to show you why scientifically, that's happening. And the spark that goes off, the light that goes off, the hope that women get when they see Huh, I'm not crazy. I know that. I know my body, and now it's been validated that I am doing everything, quote, unquote, right, and there's a reason, biologically, scientifically, that it's not working. Holy cow, the the metaphorical weight that comes off their shoulder and the physical weight that comes off down the line, it is it is magical. It is beautiful. It is one of my favorite parts of what we get to do here. I don't know that I could ever see myself transitioning to do something else at mind strong because of that word hope that we get to give to women. So for the purposes of we're not going to get too deep in the weeds today about how to heal your metabolism, metabolism, all the stuff I've talked about in past episodes, and of course, we'll talk about in future episodes. But for the purposes of this episode, what I want you to hear is, if you are feeling gaslit, if you are feeling like you are second guessing yourself constantly, right, if you're feeling like you are screaming into the abyss, I'm doing everything right, and nothing is working. Number one, you are not crazy. Number two, you are not alone, right? One of the things I love in our 12 week program Ignite, yes, it's one to one with the coaches personalize his hands in the dirt, and we include a group element that's optional, but I adore it, because, let 

me tell you, being in a room full of other menopausal women and hearing the same story of, I thought it was crazy. I was doing everything right. Nothing was working. My doctor kept telling me this, like hearing 1000, hundreds or 1000s of women saying the same thing, Oh, my goodness, the validation and that, not that we wish that on other people, but the validation and not know, and knowing you're not alone is so powerful. And most of all, most of all, most of all, as we get into the season and talk more about logistics, most of all, what I need you to hear is that there is hope. You are not broken. This is not a death sentence. I can't tell you how many women come to me and say, Well, my doctor said I'm in menopause. Now this is just how life is hard. No, take that medical license away. That is false news. There is hope we can train your metabolism to be on absolute fire, whether you are perimenopause, whether it's your one day of menopause, whether you've been in menopause for 10 years, when you start fueling your body correctly, when you learn how to do this capital C correctly, according to biology, not according to the next fad diet, not according to wishing, hoping, praying, but welcome to your menopausal body. Here's what's happening biologically, and here's how we get your metabolism not only healed, but healed for life. So we never have to do this again. Here's how we get your body back to a place where eat less, move more, actually goes back to working, and not only goes back to working, but goes back to working better than it did in your 20s. That is a very realistic goal. When we can light that fire, there's a reason it's called Ignite, right? When we can light that fire, when we can give you that hope back, uh, it's like being reborn. And that that word hope is why? Why we work with Perry and post menopausal women. So I say all that to say I'm grateful that you're here. I cannot wait to dive into the season. I love you most of all, most of or most of all, if you are feeling gaslit, if you are feeling like there is no hope, if you are feeling like this is a death sentence, I promise you, there is hope. This is biology. This is not a death sentence. We can train your metabolism to be on absolute fire, and that's what we're going to dig into this season. I love you. Thank you for being here, and I'll see you in the episodes ahead. You.